This is the alcohol minimalist podcast. And this is a special series. It’s still dry. You Arey. I’m your host, Molly watts. Let’s get started. Hey there, welcome to our last of the mini series. It’s still dry you weary? This is our last episode. How are you doing? This episode is dropping on Friday, January 19. And there are two more weekends in front of you, that may be challenging your resolve to stick to your plans, whatever those are dry ish, damp, or totally dry January. And that’s what I’m going to be talking about today. We’re going to turn your Oh no, it’s Friday, and I can’t have a drink thoughts all the way around, at least I hope. Before we get there, I have to tell you that I’ve been a little remiss in my duties here in these mini episodes, at least in mentioning that in the show notes of all of these episodes, there are free resources that I’ve been including there. There are five total episodes this week, you can go back and listen to them all. And in the show notes. There are links to the podcast listening guide the alcohol core beliefs mindmap. There’s a link to my private Facebook group, the alcohol minimalists, which is a great place on Wednesday, when we were talking about everybody around me still drinking, you want to find some people that are like minded, check out the private Facebook group the alcohol minimalists. You can also find the PB and J tool, a description of that. We talked about that on Tuesday. And on Thursday, I don’t even think I mentioned it in the episode. But yesterday, we talked about when you’ve already drank Off Plan. And I included in the show notes, my reflection and recovery worksheet. So again, lots of free information and support. If you’re looking to extend, even just get through dry weary or if you want to extend your dry weary goals into becoming an alcohol minimalist and creating sustainable change for the rest of your life. Okay, onto the weekend. And what that brings up for so many of us. And listen, I really do understand because for me, the days that I’m most likely to include alcohol in my life now are the weekends, especially Friday night. It’s the end of the workweek. It’s the end of the grind, right? It’s my chance to let loose to have some fun. And that brings up one of those unconscious beliefs that so many of us hold on to around alcohol. And I did too for a really long time. It’s a pretty simple one. We believe that alcohol makes things more fun. Oh, I hear this one so often. And it’s easy to understand why we might think this right. For most of us, we likely started drinking in social situations at parties at special occasions, events, holidays, you name it. I know I certainly did. I didn’t start off drinking every day. I don’t think many people do. Then somewhere along the line, the drinking moved from being something that I did to have fun to also being something that I did to change how I was feeling when I was stressed, depressed, angry or bored. Somehow, instead of it being just for weekends and vacations, it then became daily, instead of just when I was going out. It then became something that I did by myself at home. For people that are trying to change their drinking to abstain. This is something that really challenges them in their attempts to give up alcohol. It’s rooted, of course, in that whole FOMO idea that we talked about on Wednesday’s episode. And the ideas that we’ve been fueled or fed by the alcohol industry for basically our lives. That alcohol makes everyone happier, sexier. And it’s just more fun, right? You get told that you see that in all of the messaging and the advertising and everything in the media that we’re taught around alcohol. I’ll tell you what, when I was drinking three to four drinks every night, I was definitely not having fun. I was tired, lethargic, prone to crying. Now I know that there are some of you that swear that having lots of drinks, helps loosen you up and helps you lose your inhibitions. And I’ve shared even in this mini series, the science of how alcohol does impact several neurotransmitters which create that euphoric feeling in your brain and slows down your thinking process, which feels relaxing to people. And it’s true that this therapeutic effect of alcohol and that euphoric, relaxed feeling. It happens but it only happens at very low levels of blood alcohol content. Once you pass 0.055% blood alcohol. You will be experiencing the negative effects of alcohol and the higher your blood alcohol All content goes, those consequences are truly not fun at all. The other place that you need to question this thought is really within the thought itself. Alcohol itself doesn’t make things more fun. Neither does food, Neither do people or music or any other external circumstance, you create fun with your thoughts. It’s what you were making alcohol mean in your life. That is why you believe that it’s so true that alcohol makes things more fun. It’s not because it’s actually true. When you really take time to educate yourself on the science of alcohol on the alcohol industry on society’s message about alcohol, you realize that it’s always you’re thinking about alcohol, that is creating the feelings of fun. And when you start to change those thoughts, that alcohol isn’t really the reason that events or Friday nights are more fun. You will change your desire to keep drinking, you can have fun anywhere, simply by choosing to focus your thoughts on what you enjoy about getting together with friends going out to a club going to an event. Is it the connection with people that you enjoy? Is it dancing? Is it the thrill of victory of your favorite team? Trust me, you can choose to have fun with or without alcohol. It’s always available to you when you choose to focus on the things that you really in other things that you enjoy. Here’s what I want you to do with your thinking today. I want you to be ready to argue with yourself when your Friday night. Thoughts show up. When Friday night self starts throwing out permission giving thoughts like I’ve been so good, or it’s, it’s Friday, it’s gonna be fun. I want the February 1 version of you, the one who has successfully stuck to your dry January plans, who feels confident who feels peaceful, who feels proud? I want that version of you to argue with those thoughts. The February one version of you says I’ve been so good. And alcohol isn’t a reward. What I want is to feel relaxed, happy and connected. And I create those feelings with my thoughts. How can I think about this tonight to help me feel that way? I want you to argue with yourself like you’re in a court of law, and you’re the opposing lawyer. Now, it doesn’t mean that you’re going to believe those thoughts. But we have to get used to thinking like the best version of us in this moment. We need to show our brains that there are different versions of the story available to us. There’s the pity party story, right, throwing out the permission giving thoughts. And there’s the other success story thinking that’s possible, too. You need to stop telling yourself that you can’t drink or you’re not allowed to. First off, that’s not true. You absolutely can drink you’re choosing not to when you tell yourself you can’t you create a feeling of deprivation. When you change that thought to I’m choosing to be alcohol free today, because I’m learning how to be someone who desires alcohol less. I’m rewiring old pathways, and including alcohol free days helps me do that. That thought does not fuel the feeling of deprivation. It fuels a feeling of calm of empowered pneus and optimism even now, I want you to know that our lower brains, the reward center the habit parts of our brain, it doesn’t typically just give up with just one thought, okay, it will try other thoughts to keep that habit in place. If it doesn’t get the reward that it’s seeking in the moment. And that does not mean that anything has gone wrong, it does not mean that you have a big problem. It’s just the way our lower brains work. And it doesn’t mean anything about you or your ability to create sustainable change in your life if that’s what you want to do. It’s a daily practice. And that means that you’re going to have lots of opportunities to keep doing this work and that isn’t a bad thing. We get to choose what we make it mean every single time. All right, my friends. This is it for this mini series and I hope that it’s provided some great tools, some great new ways to look at what’s driving your desire to drink. And if you’d like to extend this work into the rest of your life, I am here to help check out www dot Molly watts.com/work with me. I have options for self changers for group coaching. And my brand new one on 112 week coaching program. If you have questions, please email me Molly at Molly watts.com. Have a great rest of dry you weary my friends. I am back next Wednesday. My episodes always drop on Wednesdays with more information on your AC B’s so yep not your ABCs but your AC B’s those are your alcohol core beliefs as always Until next time my friends choose peace.